Why You Don’t Need to Add “Weight Loss” to Your New Year's Resolutions

Written By Alana Coscia, PsyD

The pursuit of weight loss is something that we are told is mandatory, no matter what our body looks like. When we add the facts that it's the end of the year when people are making resolutions for 2021 and that we have been battling a pandemic in the United States since March, it’s not a surprise that  the focus on weight and weight loss has increased in our society. 

Let me be (hopefully not) the first to say, you do not need to lose weight! And to be clear, I am saying this to anyone who is reading this. It does not matter what your body size, shape, or weight is, nor your gender identity, you do not need to lose weight. In this blog post I’ll provide reasons to reconsider intentional weight loss, how to combat negative body image, and how to advocate for yourself with people in your life. There are also resources and references at the end.

First, I want to acknowledge the privilege I hold in this conversation. I am a white woman who has lived her life in a straight-sized body (this refers to clothing sizes that are carried in most stores). I recognize that there is so much privilege that comes from this and that means I have not experienced stigma nor discrimination based on my body nor race. This means that for me, it might be significantly easier to adopt some of the practices I’m going to outline below. You might have had a different experience in life, especially in doctors offices or with peers. So if it is hard for you to even think about taking intentional weight loss off the table of possibilities, that is okay. I also believe in body autonomy, which means you get to decide what you do with your body, even if that includes pursuing intentional weight loss.

Reasons to reconsider intentional weight loss:

1. Diets are built to fail. In fact research has shown repeatedly that 95+% of diets end in regaining the lost weight or more.

  • We are born with a certain weight set point range for our bodies. This means that there is a range that our weight naturally stays within during our adult lives when we do not try to change it purposefully.

  • When we diet and lose significant weight, our body does not know the difference between a purposeful diet and a famine. Restricting our food intake leads our body to think it is in a famine and respond in kind. It will then increase our hunger cues and decrease our motivation for movement. This is the body protecting us from a potential future famine. (This cycle also occurs when we experience food insecurity and is again a protective factor.)

  • When we “break” our diets, we can fall into a weight cycling pattern due to our body trying to protect us from famine and us trying to control our body.

2. Dieting has side effects.

  • Whenever we “fast,” “cleanse,” “reset,” or generally severely restrict our food intake, there are negative effects. For example, this can lead to obsessing about food, becoming fearful of certain foods, being less flexible, and feeling less connected to people around us. Restricting our food intake for the purposes of a diet or intentional weight loss can increase how much we think about food and leave less room in our minds for the things we care about in life.

3. The diet industry profits off of our dislike for ourselves and our pursuit of intentional weight loss.

  • Since diets are built to fail and we gain weight back when we stop engaging with them, we might then continue to spend money on whatever fad diet or “lifestyle change” is popular right now. Diet culture is a billion dollar industry.

4. The weight categories we are used to hearing (e.g. “underweight,” “overweight,” “obese”) are based on the body mass index (or BMI), which is actually not representative of the population nor assigned accurately. 

  • Body mass index was non-representative when created. It was created based on a non-representative white male athlete population. A mathematician created the formula to calculate BMI and it was not designed for medical purposes.

  • In the 1990s, the National Institute of Health had an “Obesity Task Force” with 7 of the 9 members being directors of weight-loss clinics. In 1998, this task force voted to change the categories of the BMI so that folx who had previously been in the “normal” range were now in the “overweight” category (and all other categories shifted accordingly). There was no evidence in the research to support this change (Bacon, 2010 p. 152-153). So with no change to their weight, overnight, folx who thought they were “healthy” were all of a sudden considered “overweight” and at risk for many negative health outcomes.

5. Part of the mindset that being a higher weight is bad, is rooted in racism in the United States. 

  • In our earlier US society, after a period of higher weight being associated with affluence, it began to be associated with Black people and therefore deemed something to avoid in order to not emulate a marginalized group of people.

  • Continuing to pursue intentional weight loss and viewing higher weights as “bad” upholds racist systems and beliefs.

  • For more information on this, check out Sabrina Strings’ book Fearing the Black Body: The Racist Origins of Fat Phobia (2019). 

What can we do to change our negative body image?

1. Develop a self-compassion practice.

  • This can be helpful if you have just ended another cycle of dieting, when having negative body image days, and in general whenever you are feeling shame or guilt. Dr. Kristin Neff is a great resource for self-compassion and her website can be found here.

2. Start thinking about and engaging with weight neutrality.

  • This is the concept that your weight does not determine your health nor your worth. Focus more on actual indicators of health (e.g. blood work, organ functions, how your body feels) with the help of your medical doctor.

  • Think about what your body helps you do in your life. For example, my arms and hands help me hug and pet my dog. My legs help me walk my dog outside so she can get exercise. My lungs help me breathe and circulate oxygen throughout my body so I can think clearly. My thighs are my dog’s favorite pillow when we cuddle on the couch. Find things that your body helps you do or enjoy that have nothing to do with weight and show appreciation for those aspects of your body.

3. Engage with body neutrality.

  • This is the concept that there are more important and interesting things about you than your body. For example, Do you have a hobby you really enjoy? Are you really passionate about a social and/or political issue? What are interests and roles in your life that you enjoy or that fulfill you? What are reasons that those closest to you enjoy your company?

4. Get rid of the expectation for loving your body unconditionally.

  • We live in a society that is constantly telling us we are not enough. We’re too heavy, we’re too ugly, we’re too *fill in the blank.* This messaging can make it incredibly difficult to love your body.

  • Not to mention if you are someone with a disability and/or chronic illness, you might have days where your body makes you very angry! That’s valid! Maybe you’ve experienced discrimination based on your race, body size, disability status, etc. Again, more reasons that you might have trouble accessing love for your body.

  • We can focus on acknowledging the systemic reasons we don’t love our bodies, change the relationship we have with our bodies, and still not expect to love our bodies completely. This can leave room for us to change how we relate to our bodies with less pressure to access love for it.

5. Avoid limiting any foods from your intake with the exception of allergies or tastes you don’t like.

  • This doesn’t mean you eat everything. But if all foods are allowed (physically and mentally), we become less likely to binge on them or feel high anxiety about eating them or being near them. If you think you have an allergy or are having a food reaction, consult your medical doctor or a Registered Dietitian.


6. Change how you talk about foods.

  • No food is inherently “good” or “bad,” “healthy” or “unhealthy.” When we assign these judgments to food, we can miss out on some of our favorite foods or sometimes foods that can provide us with nutrients our body needs! Food can also be a great way to connect with loved ones. It can be an important part of cultural traditions as well. When we label some of those foods negatively, we might also feel disconnected from people we love or our culture.

7. Engage in joyful movement instead of “exercise.”

  • Exercise is often seen as a mandatory part of our lives, but it isn’t. In terms of mental health benefits, you only need 30 minutes of movement to see improvements before they plateau. 

  • What are some ways you enjoy moving your body? Do you like having dance parties at home (alone or with the people you live with)? Do you have a pet you can take on walks or hikes outside? Do you enjoy yoga that focuses on mindfulness and being present in your body? (If you engage in yoga, I’d suggest doing so without a mirror to avoid the emphasis on looks).

  • If you dread the movement you are engaging in, this is a major hint that you view it as exercise, work, or a chore rather than joyful movement. If you think you might have a disordered or toxic relationship with exercise or movement, consider taking a complete break from any formal movement for a while. Only go back when you feel like you can enjoy it rather than feel it’s a chore or work.

8. Start exposing yourself to narratives that are different than your own.

  • Whether it’s on social media, in books, movies, TV or other forms of media, it’s important to surround ourselves with stories and people that have different life experiences than us. This can include body size, shape, or weight, race, gender identity, sexual orientation etc. Whatever kind of content you enjoy, find creators who have a variety of identities and appearances in that area to support. This can help you develop compassion for others and yourself and see that there is more to life than pursuing thinness.

9. Read more research about the harmful effects of diet culture, fatphobia, and the racist roots of both. See the resources below for places to start. This can be an addition to any anti-racism work you’re doing.

Advocating for yourself during this journey

It can be important to acknowledge ahead of time that as you start this journey of rejecting dieting and diet culture, not everyone is going to join you. For the same reasons that you might have been pursuing intentional weight loss in your life, the people you love are likely experiencing the same difficulties and absorbing the same messages.

Engaging in self-compassion and compassion for the people around you is key in this journey. It’s not going to be easy and you will likely continue to hear people talk about food choices, dieting, and exercise in ways that feel harmful to you.

A great way to advocate for yourself is to ask the people around you to not discuss their diets when you are around (or in group chats). You can set this boundary explicitly or you can change the subject when it comes up in a social setting. For example, if you’re having a meal with someone (even if it’s virtually) and they bring up their diet, negative body image, or label themselves or their food choices as “bad” you can change the subject (e.g. ask them about how work is feeling, ask about a show you both love etc.). You can also mute people on social media who are posting about their “weight loss journey” or other diet related content.

Ask folx in your life not to comment on your body and model this for them. If you notice someone in your life has lost or gained weight, do not comment on it. Focus your conversations more on things going on in your lives, how you’re both feeling, or other mutual interests. For example, if someone comments on your body you can say “I’d rather talk about *fill in the blank* it means more to me than what my body looks like.”

While setting boundaries can be incredibly difficult, it is also so important and will help you start to undo some of the harm diet culture has enacted.

Resources and References

Books

Digital Resources

And of course, if you are struggling with your body image and how it negatively affects your mental health, therapy can be incredibly helpful.

More about the author:

Alana Coscia, PsyD
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