Disclaimer: The following information does not come from a textbook and I in no way claim expert status. It is based on lessons from nature, contributions from various cultures, scientific research, clinical study, personal experiences, and thousands of conversations with clients who have taught me the true value of mindfulness.

For the purpose of this guide, mindfulness can be defined as Being with yourself as you are in the present moment, with kindness and without judgement, while extending kindness to others and the environment. It also includes being fully present with others and the environment.

Mindfulness is not about feeling perfectly calm all the time, never getting upset, or needing to meditate for 15 hours a day. Mindfulness is being with ourselves through whatever we are experiencing, with an attitude of kindness and openness. Just as we would comfort a sad child, soothe a sick animal, sit with a friend in distress, so too can we kindly connect with ourselves when we are upset, make mistakes, and feel angry. When we are present, we are better able to understand ourselves, find our inner solid ground, connect with others, make choices in line with our values, and treat others and the environment with kindness.

Noticing Matters

In nature, at any given moment, you can observe bridges and connections. There are infinite opportunities to shift and change direction. Leaves on a flower, blades of grass, rock piles across a stream, fallen logs, the earth itself, all can be bridges.

Every moment is an opportunity to practice mindfulness. If we find ourselves lost in thought, buried in self-judgement or worried about what may happen, we can notice this and kindly bring our attention to the present. This allows us to choose with intention how we want to proceed, rather than being in a state of reacting to what is happening. Each time we notice ourselves in a state of judging or past/present focus and find the bridge to the present, we move towards improved health, mentally, physically, socially, and spiritually.

Just as in nature, there are bridges available to us at any given moment. These bridges can bring us away from mindlessness and multitasking into a state of being present. Tuning into our sensory experiences, focusing on our breath, paying attention to the voice of the person speaking to us, or connecting to our physical experience in the moment can all serve as bridges.

Unconditional Self-Compassion

A wild bird takes care of itself unconditionally. It does not care for itself only when the weather is good, it has a perfect mate, there are no predators around, and its nest is perfectly built. Wild birds care for themselves no matter what. They do not have to earn it or achieve something first. That is because they know it is necessary and vital. It is what allows them to survive amidst threats, connect with other birds, and raise their young.

In modern times, caring for oneself is often thought of as a luxury or indulgence. It is regarded as something that happens if there is time and if we earn it. Mindfulness teaches us that kindness and connection with ourselves is fundamental. It is not a selfish act. It is what allows us to be our best selves with others and the world. Self-compassion is earned and deserved just by nature of being alive.

We are One and Many

Trees, seemingly solitary, independent organisms are actually connected to other trees through an extensive underground network. They communicate with one another and have the ability to support other trees. Both healthy and sick trees share resources to help those around them thrive. They take care of themselves and others at the same time.

Mindfulness is a socially just, environmentally aware practice at its core. It teaches us to honor ourselves, others, and the environment all at once. When we explore our feelings as they are, we are better in tune with our needs and drives, which impact our behavior. This allows us to behave with intention and awareness of our impact. And, when we are mindfully with others, we are with them as they are in the present moment. Mindful listening asks us to hear others and seek to understand their experience from their perspective. We tune in without thinking about what we want to say next, what we want to convince them of, or what we want to prove about ourselves. Being fully present with others is the root of empathy.

Choosing with Intention

Creatures of the wild have the art of mindfulness fine-tuned. Being present allows them to smell their next food source, feel the coming weather changes, taste the difference between a nutritious or poisonous berry, hear quiet footsteps that may signal danger, and observe the most subtle variations to determine which path to take home.

There are many competing areas of focus we are managing at any given time. Mindfulness teaches us to notice when our focus has wandered to the past, to worries for the future, to judgements about ourselves, and to ground ourselves into the present moment. When we consciously choose to focus on the here and now, we experience more fully what is within and around us. When we engage in life mindfully, we have fewer “How did I get here?” or “Where did the time go?” or “Did I remember to…” moments. That is because when we are present, we can make choices with intention, rather than making them reactively or on autopilot. When we feel lost, instead of cursing our past steps or fearing our next ones, mindfulness allows us to pay attention with kindness, so that we can move forward in the best way we can.

Finding the “and”

A mountain may be pummeled by ice and snow and be grounded; storms may roll waves over the ocean and below the surface there are places of stillness; an elephant may grieve the loss of a family member and be connected and supported by its herd. Challenges, worries, pain, social injustice and fear are all present. To deny them, pretend they do not matter, constantly seek distraction, or expect ourselves to be “strong enough” to not be impacted only serve to intensify our emotions and disconnect us from ourselves and others. Mindfulness is about being with what is here and then also asking, “What else is here?” Not with the intention to replace one thought with another or to force positivity, but with the intention of sensing into the fuller experience.

Mindfulness teaches us that we can have awareness of pain, discomfort, hardship and see what else is in our experience. “The world does not feel safe and I have kind, caring neighbors.” “I am so overwhelmed by work/school and my best friends are making me laugh.” “I feel lonely in the pandemic and I know I am loved.” “My body aches, I feel nauseous and this blanket feels warm and soft between my fingers.” Again, sensing into the fullness of our experience is not done to disregard or avoid the challenges. In fact, it is quite the opposite. Sensing into the fullness of our experience makes space for us to be with our pain without being overwhelmed by it. It also makes room for gratitude. When we expand our awareness to see more of what is here, we have a better opportunity to connect to what we are thankful for.

Additional Guides and Resources

There is a multitude of work on the brain benefits of mindfulness, ways it helps with chronic pain and illness, how it can cultivate a more socially just world, and more. If you are interested in delving deeper, here are some people, resources, and links to check out. Each of them (and many more) have contributed to the understanding of mindfulness I have shared with you.

The Inner Work of Racial Justice by Rhonda V. Magee

The work of Thich Nhat Hanh

Mindfulness and the Body by Michelle Maldonado

The Power of Mindfulness TEDx Talk with Dr. Shauna Shapiro

FREE self-guided course on Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction

YouTube Channel of Dr. Dan Siegel

Self-Compassion by Dr. Kristin Neff